Superwoman

“I was not ready for the fall, too blind to see the writing on the wall.” – Live to Tell, Madonna

Pregg and I was joined by Beektur last Thursday afternoon on our second serving of the Virgin Labfest 5. The set was Virgin Labfest 4 Revisited. Unfortunately, the play that I was looking forward to watching among the three plays in that set was not performed. It was announced that due to unavoidable circumstances, “Ang Bayot, ang Meranao, at ang Habal habal sa isang Nakakabagot na Paghihintay sa Kanto ng Lanao del Norte”, would not be performed. The ticket price of 200 pesos was slashed to 160 pesos. Later, I found out from Pregg that the main reason for the cancelled performance was that the two performers had a fight. They were good friends for a long time. They couldn’t settle their differences so that the show must go on and all that bullshit. It was just too bad for us audience.

What were left for us to partake were the two other plays. The first was the very short yet very poignant, “Uuwi na ang Nanay kong si Darna”. It was a play about a young boy who interpreted his father’s stories about his domestic helper mother in Hong Kong into her being the ultimate Pinoy superhero, Darna. The casting and the set was okay. But I don’t know. It was just too short for me. Yes, I felt a little pinch in my heart. But it was just a pinch. I want my whole heart to hurt. It was just really bitin.

I have read the second play, “Ang Kalungkutan ng mga Reyna,” prior to watching it and I like it. I bought a copy of the Virgin Labfest book last week. Seeing the play performed was so much better especially with the high-caliber performance of Sharmaine Buencamino. I felt through Buencamino’s performance what could be the thoughts going through the minds of our leaders who are so desperate in clinging on to the glory of the symbolic throne of the head of state. Little did they realize that it is not solely the fault of the voting public that the country is submerged in mud, but mainly because of the politicians who have propped themselves to lead their constituents in perpetuity. Also commendable was the performance of Tuxqs Rutaquio as Marcel de Alba. I saw him last as Ada in the first round of performances of Zsazsa and his characterization of Marcel was consistently that of a learned hairdresser who almost never screams. And the ministers and generals, as in real life, we do not really see them, but they are, I bet, always behind the curtains, welcoming those who will be named king or queen, or pushing those who have stayed beyong their time limit.

I wanted to watch another set of the Virgin Labfest 5 at 8pm but after watching the series of new choreographers’ works at 6 pm in another theater at CCP my body succumbed to fatigue. I just hope that the pair who danced to “Havaiianas” had won something because it was mainly the dance that I could relate to without me dozing of during the performances.

I asked Beektur about his thought of the set, "The Family that ____s Together," and he said that they were very talky. "Puedeng-puede sa radyo."

Bilanggo

Bilanggo sa rehas na gawa ng puso mo
Bilanggo sa gapos na dulot
Ng pag-iisip sa iyo
Hanggang kailan pa ba magdaramdam?
Hanggang kailan pa ba masasaktan?
Pag-isip sa iyo
Maging sa ganito at ganyan
Hanggang kailan ka pa maghihintay?
Hanggang kailan ka ba nagsasawa, Inday?
- Rizal Underground

On Saturday, on my way to my graduate class, I was about to give up that I would be able to watch a single set of plays during the first week of the Virgin Labfest 5. I have texted almost everyone who, I knew, are in a way, into plays or musicals, or arts or culture. But no one seemed interested. Kristi wanted to watch Transformers instead. Misyu is still allergic to CCP. Paige is with his boyfriend and the boyfriend does not like to watch. Wilma is still commiserating over his guard lover. Beektur and his Spanish love, Aramis, are in Boracay. Of course, I will not watch a play alone. I do not like the feeling of just swallowing all the emotions I have experienced while watching a play and not share it with anyone after experiencing it. I want to talk about it with my companion. It does not matter if he is a friend, a relative, a lover, or someone you share your lover with. At the end of a play, the two or three of us, should discuss it until we go our separate ways and bring a clean sleet of emotion home.

Good thing that Pregg sent a message asking how I was while I was crossing Quezon Avenue on my way to my grad school and to attend my first class of three for the day. I said I am fine and followed it up immediately with, “Do you want to watch a play in CCP later?” I convinced him that what was on at 8pm was one of the better sets of the Virgin Labfest 5. I told him the three sets of plays revolve around gay characters and they were the best of the previous edition of the Labfest. After a series of text messages over class, we agreed to meet after my last class at the apartment that he shares with his lover of seven years.

Pregg drives a luscious red Honda City. We passed through EDSA going to Roxas Boulevard while catching up with stories about our common friends and pet peeves. We even talked about how he gave me tickets for ballet performances and musicals performed at CCP. The last one was the first performances of Zsa Zsa Zaturnnah ze Musical at Tanghalang Huseng Batute where Eula Valdez swallowed the theater whole because of her fabulous performance.

We arrived early at CCP and bought our tickets after parking his car nearby. We ate our share of the sumptuous sisig and the pale pinakbet at Dencio’s before falling in line just outside THB. While we were in line, a giant red X emerged from the elevator and we giggled when I disappointingly said, “Oh oh, she’s a girl.” Nicholas Pichay, one of the authors of the three plays to be performed said that the red X means that a very short dramatic performance will be shown wherever X is gliding.

Pregg and I sat right at the middle of the topmost bench inside the black theater. A few dialogues into the first play, I realized that it was not indeed the set that I thought we were going to watch. I mistakenly assumed that what would be performed were the set of Virgin Labfest 4 Revisited. Indeed, Nick Pichay was right, which I did not take to heart when he was explaining earlier, that the set was the Life is a Trap Set.

The first play was Paigan by Liza Magtoto. I did enjoy the play a bit. The actors were fairly good with the girl who played the wife of Fagen as the stand out actor. She played different characters and played them well enough to convince me that she is good with characterization. Though, the several other characters who kept on popping up as bridges to the next scenes, somehow were irritatingly unhelpful to the story being presented. The interaction between Pedring and Tacio, the two friends who were at opposite ends on killing Fagen, was hilarious at times but flat in other instances. The play however was good introspection of how we were not that different from the African-Americans who fought with the whites against us during the Filipino-American War. Fast-forward to today, we ask ourselves, what are our similarities really?

Pregg and I agreed that the weakest play to us was Hate Restaurants. I did not empathize with any of the eccentric characters in the play (except maybe the chubby girl who had an amazing way of laughing during her short scene). There is no connection with me, so that I could have felt what they were feeling. Is it because it was written in English by an Australian? Or is it because the layers of characterization and ironies of the cast were unclear to me? Or maybe, I just did not get it.

We even liked the short presentation in the male CR during the first 10 minute break more. The red X was standing near the CR with a note in one of her arms that, “may putok dito.” The short scene happened in a male CR with two gay janitors killing a male student after getting his money and other valuables. The dialogue was in gayspeak. It was short, funny, and well-acted. Bravo to the two killers.

The third play was the best of the lot. Not solely because it was by Nick Pitchay. Mainly because I was able to relate to the play. With the carnival of our youth in the background, it rightfully captured the mystery and the thrill of the perya more so near the end of the play when the two characters rode the rollercoaster ride of their lives and finally found the perfect way to end whatever hold they have of each other. There was nothing holding them together anymore. Whatever it was, it has vanished with all the desaparecidos they have been hoping to find or has found but were still missing. Bravo to the two actors and the superb direction and set.

We went out of the CCP ground after 11PM giddy with culture. The Php200 fee was more than enough for the good experience. We are planning of watching again on Thursday since it is Pasig City Day and both of us were working in the Pasig part of Ortigas, thus, free of work. What will be performed were the two sets of plays that I have planned of watching with friends when I read the schedule of Virgin Labfest 5.

Cheers to the Virgin Labfest 5 for making us hungry for more performances!

Single ladies

My friend, Beektur, just arrived today in Manila with his significant other from the States. I haven't met up with them yet though we have chatted earlier via facebook and he asked for my mobile number. We might meet up later in Makati.

His being here with his lover, started me thinking about Bona and his husband and Pornstar with his partner who are back in Manila after being abroad for several years. Bona is married and is settling down in the city after a few years in California. Pornstar left South Africa for Manila after being there for almost eight years. Although Beektur will just be here for a short while, all of them returned home with their lovers in tow.

And as usual, I am as single as I wanna be since the year that they left Manila. Even Kristi is dating SR and Pregg has been with Erich since 2002. For that matter, Paige is also involved for two years now.

Wow. It seems that it is I only who is single these days. Something is very wrong here.

But how about Wilma? Oh-oh he is with Cori. And Ursula is with his usual parading beauties.

I am single and alone. Oh that hurts. Yes, I am living with Vicky, the hairstylist in my Salon, who is also single, and the other 'grrls' in Alabang who are mostly singles, but those people that I mentioned above are some of my closest friends. And among my TLF circle and my elementary school circle, I am the only one who is single. (Yes, indeed, because Cher who is in a nurse in the UK is also living in with someone.)

Am I married to my job? Last weekend, I was working at home for a proposal on the 12th and was in the office on the 13th and 14th. I usually go home very late also.

I am not dating in anyway. My last date with a gay man was more than a year ago where I felt like a prostitute.

Yes, I have sex often, but these are mostly with paid boys who offer their body for a few pesos. There is no intimacy there, thought I thought there was in some encounters, which later on turned out to be just sex, really.

What am I to do then? Date again? Cruise the net?

I just have to overcome this notion that most single gays nowadays are so choosy and unsure about what they want for a relationship. Maybe I just have to try.

Or maybe I need to move abroad to finally meet this one guy for me.

Home

I am back in Manila.

During my short work stint abroad, I have been in Indonesia, Malaysia, and Singapore in one and a half months. Sex never came up. I realized that it was not that important. I got by. I even enjoyed being with my self a lot.

It is just a different case here in Manila. I haven't seen Olan, Bishop, Chip, or Marc. I am not looking forward to meeting them again.

The two to three guys I have been with were a mix of the new and the old service boys of Alabang. It is easier that way. You buy pleasure simple with no emotion.

Tomorrow, I am going home to Sorsogon. Perhaps the boys are much much sweeter there.

Another now

I am in another Asian country. It is very close to the Philippines yet feels so far.

I am not sure if I miss Marc or Bishop. Or Chip. Or even Olan. Before I left Manila earlier this month, I had a series of rendezvous with four different guys in four nights. But now, no one is here to cuddle the night with. Just the almost silent humming of the airconditioner in my room and the tap dancing moves of my fingers in my laptop.

It is late. I have to sleep. Tomorrow is another work day. I hope that I'll be busy.

I just have to look forward to my KL trip next weekend. Or maybe to another wet dream with Amy Winehouse.

Ugh. So much for new experience.

Scratch that itch

Marc is gone to Ilocos Sur and I am canoodling with his cousin. We made peace with his having a kid. I just thought to myself that I am leaving the country for more than a month and it is just fair not to be aggravated by his situation.

But nothing stopped me from flirting with Olan, his cousin. On Thursday night, he visited the Salon for no reason. He just said that he wanted to get away from their house for a few hours. I offered him a space in my bed.

The sex was more satisfying than with Marc. So we did it again last night. There was no talk about relationships. I guess we just enjoyed doing it.

Paige requested me to tell him the details but I can't for now. Maybe next time.

Sweet child o' mine

I was drunk at 2 in the morning a few days ago when I found out that Marc is a father of a boy. I wanted to confront him in the morning but I did not. Perhaps, I am just interpreting the wrong clues.

But I saw pictures of an infant with him in bed. There is nothing more to ask as evidence.

I told Kristi, Ursula, and Wilma about it and they have very different reactions. Should I accept the situation? I told them that I should not because I have been on this way before and it was not a very pleasant experience. Remember Jake, or should I say Magneto since he is an ex now.

Last night, Kristi invited me to join his friend Jet and him in a karaoke bar in Las Pinas just in front of SM Southmall. I asked Marc if he wanted to join but he declined. He stayed in the Salon while I was out singing my guts in ‘Beach House’.

I had a fun night. A few bottles of SMB light were consumed. And there was good laughter with the hosts. A plus point was the waiters who were wearing undershirts and sarong.

When I went home at 3 in the morning, I opened Marc’s mobile phone to see if the pictures of the kid were still there. I know, I should not have done that. Blame me for being suspicious.

The phone was off because he was charging it. I turned it on and the welcome message was, “I will always take care of my son and wife!”

Even if the pictures were gone in the images folder that alone was enough evidence that indeed Marc has already fathered a child. He is just turning 20 in April.

Wow.

Sympathetic character

I have as much rage as you have
I have as much pain as you do
I've lived as much hell as you have
and i've kept mine bubbling under for you

you were my best friend
you were my lover
you were my mentor
you were my brother
you were my partner
you were my teacher
you were my very own sympathetic character
- Alanis Morissette

Meet the current cast members of this novela (Season 6):

Narrator: Sid (maninisid/M) - in his 30s, still hungry for whatever is out there to be devoured

Salon grrls: Vicky - the new beautician with a very dark past spent in the Middle East as a runaway (jailed) barber; Chabi - the too 'girly looking' gay in the neighborhood who can't find a boyfriend (others- Frederick, Shane, Melai, Paloma, Patrick, Joan, Ma-ke)

Close friends: Wilma - the lover of guards, Ursula - the politician who is dating a very young boy these days, Misyu - the 'missing artist', Kristi - the nympho who is working in a call center, Wen - the former physicist turned line producer of indie films, Estelle - a former office mate who is a fan of movie houses and cyber group dating, Paige - the Ivatan native who has returned to the island (others: Beektur - a college chum in the US, Pregg, Bona, Pornstar, Gaz - all four were batchmates in 1998 in a TLF workshop, Rogue - an ex who is now a friend)

Boys: Marc, Bishop, Gambil (new), Aristotle (new), Chip, Jake, Macmac

More on the other characters next time. Keep on reading my friends.